It’s the beginning of April. The snow is beginning to melt, or, depending on where you live, it’s at least getting closer to melting. If we’re still raising kids, we may have just enjoyed the Spring Break that is typically scheduled for this time of year. After the retreating of winter, we’re probably noticing a bit of restlessness in our children and in ourselves. The temperatures outside are slowly climbing up again. The trees will sprout new buds soon, if they haven’t already.
It seems like a good time to lean into restarting and what Spring is all about as we get ready to see more of the sun.
Restarting
Spring is about Restarting. It is the overarching purpose of a Spring. The word “restart” means to begin again, start anew, to resume.
It’s about planting the new seeds of life in ourselves, our relationships, and our lives. It’s the beginning of the creative process and involves preparing and starting.
This is true when things are mostly going well in our lives and there is simply a new season that brings more sunlight, fresh rain, and crisp, clean air. It is especially true when the circumstances of our lives have forced a new beginning upon us or we have chosen one for ourselves.
Knowing and Engaging with the Rs of Restarting
A number of other “Rs” work together to support Restarting. Knowing and engaging with them in different ways and at different times is what allows us to move through spring in a manner that supports restarting. In doing so, we can avoid the pitfalls and come to appreciate the promises.
[I’ll be talking about the “Rs” of Spring in this, and other posts].
5 R’s of Spring
Restarting (overarching purpose)
Re-envisioning
Readying
Reaching
Resourcing (supports all seasons)
Common Restarting Detours
Restarting represents hope that change is possible and offers the potential for a clean slate, many possibilities, a fresh start, or moving in a different direction.
Many of us rush into the “new” without taking the time to really know what “restart” we are most wanting or needing to move toward. This is easy to do especially in a media and social media saturated culture where there is so much noise telling us what to focus on all the time. Just think how many things there are in your Facebook feed on any given day that are promoting an area of knowledge or a supposed “solution” (often quite convincingly) that may have absolutely nothing to do what you need or want.
There is real value in slowing it down.
Launching our efforts is not nearly as important as starting a little later knowing we’re going in the right direction with the right supports.
- Sometimes we are too vague. We choose something like “more success” without taking the time to look inward and figure out what that really means for us.
- Sometimes we are looking outward instead of inward. We are chasing things so that others and the world will see us or value us in a certain way, instead of finding what really matters and will make a difference for us.
- Sometimes we are reaching beyond what is within our power and control. Perhaps we want to change someone else when all we can really change is ourselves.
- Sometimes we are too narrow. We choose something small and manageable, which is helpful on one hand, but it lacks inspiration to really motivate us.
- Sometimes we are too specific. We define exactly what the result is that we want, but in doing so we close off all the other ways we might bring forth what we are needing or wanting.
- Sometimes we misassess where we’re actually at. The “restart” we seek is so far past the capabilities we currently have and circumstances we are currently in, that it isn’t possible yet. We have other things to work on first.
- Sometimes we assume that better is about being more or doing more when it could just as easily be about being and doing less.
- Sometimes we are too diluted because we choose ten “new” things to try and bring forth. So, our energy and efforts are scattered in too many places.
- Sometimes we don’t even bother. Perhaps we’re convinced change isn’t possible, at least for us, or we’ve tried before and it didn’t work so we gave up.
Just notice if you tend toward any of these things.
And then, whatever you think your “restart” might be, just set it aside for little while.
If you don’t tend toward any of these things, and you already have wise clarity of the “restart” that truly reflects the betterment you seek (because it’s been revealing itself to you for a while), then carry on. Carry on in the company of the quiet rebellion that’s simmering within you.
Re-envisioning our Restart
The second R of spring is Reenvisioning. It is something that often starts to emerge naturally as we move through retreating and winter. It’s about rebirth, redefining, rekindling, and reawakening.
Reenvisioning involves identifying and imagining the new reality, direction, or beginning that is emerging or that we want, as well as why we want it. This means sorting through and taking the time to connect with our need, our longing, and our discontent. The clearer it is to us and the more it resonates within us, the more motivation it will provide to us as we move through.
It seems a good time to acknowledge that clarity about the change or restart can take different forms, including mixed forms, and they are all valid. Sometimes all we have a whiff or sense that we need to go in a specific direction, and we have no idea why or where it will take us. In this case, our clarity is in knowing the direction. Sometimes we know what we want to experience as the result, e.g., more connection, more freedom, etc., but we don’t know what the restart is that will get us there. In this case, our clarity is in knowing the felt experience we want. Sometimes we know pretty clearly what the result of the restart is and the form we most want it to take. In this case, our clarity is knowing exactly what we are aiming for.
Let’s take some time and lean into reflecting on what the most right “restart” is for you: the one that truly reflects the betterment you seek.
(There is no one right way for doing this, although there might be a particularly right way for a particular person. This is but one, change it however makes it the most useful for you).
Of course, there are different perspectives for reflecting on our lives.
Over the years, I’ve learned as many others now suggest, that focusing on ourselves is the most fruitful, although not always the most comfortable.
The reason it is the most fruitful is because we can only better ourselves, and when we think in systems, most change in our lives flows from within us or how we are responding to things. (I acknowledge this is an oversimplification of the reality of a complex world and all the influences that impact our lives, but that discussion is for another blog post).
There are lots of different ways we can hold the parts of our lives and imagine how they impact one another.
For me, I think about things as seven interrelated aspects.
In the middle is my Right Self, to the degree that I can embody that at any given time and within the different stages of my life. Because my spiritual life is core for me, I include Right Reverence as pouring into me. (It may not be as relevant for you).
I respond to the circumstances and create my life in five areas including Right Living, Right Relationships, Right Livelihood, Right Resources, and Right Contribution. (I’ll try to remember to outline the details of these in a future post).
The self I am, how I function, and what I do in those areas flows for better or worse out in the world.
Essentially, bringing about betterment or any “restart” comes from redirecting, correcting, changing, and improving, with Right Self as the starting point.
Since this is pretty big territory, we’ll need to narrow our “restart” focus considerably. Do everything you can to get it down to one key area of focus.
Here are three narrowing questions.
What’s the betterment I truly seek?
Try to discern what betterment it is that you truly seek.
You may know it automatically.
You may need to come at it from the outside in by listing all the betterment you want and then seeing how they relate. What is the deeper, common denominator that links them?
You may need to work back from the result you think you want.
For example, many people set a goal of losing weight, but what they really want is a sense of well-being, or of being at home in their bodies, or of taking sacred care of their bodies.
The one common thing may not be obvious. Sometimes we need to let it percolate inside us.
Identify one thing, not many things. Choose one that really speaks to you.
Identifying this is essential in several ways. Losing weight is a betterment result. It is what we have if we become and do all the right things to achieve it. When we focus there, we can get stuck in specific ways of getting ourselves there, or we can get caught assuming that the result will deliver a certain betterment, but even if we manage to achieve the result, the betterment may never come. E.g., someone manages to lose the weight but still doesn’t have the feeling of being at home in their body. If they had focused on being at home in their body they likely wouldn’t have worked on losing weight specifically but on learning to appreciate their bodies, addressing unresolved issues of safety, healthier eating, and perhaps some exercise.
You may need to discern and even negotiate between different voices within yourself. The survival part of you may genuinely need safety but ask for self-protection. The ego might insist on more money, recognition, status, power, or more stuff. The soul may want presence and possibility.
What “restart” in my self is wanting to arise? OR What “newness” in my self is wanting to arise in support of the betterment I seek?
Sometimes we’ve already got an inkling of the newness that is trying to emerge in ourselves, and it may not even be linked to some kind of known betterment. It’s a strong sense and the best path, in my experience, is to trust it and not need to link it to a specific betterment. It often leads to all kinds of betterment.
Other times the inkling of newness is linked to betterment. When this is the case, we can support ourselves to deeper awareness by turning into it, engaging with it, and asking ourselves more questions.
It’s helpful not to stop at the first answer, but to keep asking what, if anything, is underneath. This will lead us to a truer answer. For me, as I shared in a previous post, I have this need for “simplicity” that has been pulling at me. I initially thought it was about clearing out the physical space, and it is, and I will. But as I have been paying better attention relative to this “new” that is wanting to emerge, I got a better sense of what was underneath the pull to simplicity. It is about being simplified to only what is the most authentic, the most important and the most meaningful within myself, my life, and my focus, overall and everyday. And letting all else fall off from the edges.
Considering the betterment I seek in my life and/or the world, what newness in my self would be the most supportive?
Sometimes, for whatever reason, we have to figure out our focus for “newness” a little more methodically.
So, for example, if we notice that our desired betterment is mostly related to resources and having more of them, perhaps our restart focuses on embodying security or financial security.
Or, if we see that our desired betterment is mostly related to improved relationships, perhaps our newness focuses on becoming a self who embodies care and belonging with self and others.
Or, if we see that all areas of ourselves and our lives seem to be continually struggling despite our best efforts, perhaps our restart is about healing from past pains and trauma so we can untether ourselves.
In sitting with this question, it can sometimes be helpful to consider the various areas of needs, developments, and enhancements as a way of getting clearer. Sometimes in reading each of them, one stands out as really needing our attention to support the betterment we truly seek.
We are beautifully complex beings who too often rush to the “restart”.
Slow down. Give yourself the space. Spend some time in the questions so you can come to know the betterment you truly seek and the “newness” in your self that is going to best support you. Find the one key thing that will support and move you forward.
What clarity do you have about any restarts this spring?
Then, and perhaps only then, is it time for the next step of “restarting” (which I’ll be writing about in the next post).
Best Wishes with your “Newness”.
With Humility, Hope, and Heart,
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