Heartfelt Holidays: 3 More Ways to Bring Consciousness to Christmas

The holidays can be a high expectation time of year, given the fantasy of Hallmark cards and movies, and messages from our religions, families, work settings and the organizations we participate in, increasing commercialization, and of course, ourselves. The word “excess” comes to mind.

I shared 3 beginning ideas to bring a little consciousness to Christmas in a previous post.

Here are THREE MORE IDEAS to invite a little consciousness to Christmas. May they speak to you, or spark ideas that are even better suited for you and yours.

Recognize Diversity in the Christmas Experience

Christmas is one of the seasons that can take on a life of its own, or at least it feels that way for me some years. We can get so caught up that it’s easy to either not see, or to lose sight of the diversity of how everyone is experiencing Christmas. Slowing ourselves down and deliberately engaging with the diversity can help us bring more consciousness to Christmas.

For starters, Christmas is not recognized by all countries. And in the places where it is recognized, it isn’t necessarily celebrated in the same “Christian” ways, through church attendance and the recognition of the birth of Jesus. It has other meaning(s) for many.

And even for those who do engage in the recognition and celebration of the birth of Jesus, the experience of Christmas and the holiday season can be immensely diverse. Whatever your circumstances are, take a moment to reflect on the varied experiences others might be having. As examples…

• There are people living in abundance relationally, occupationally, and financially whose Christmas will likely be pretty wonderful.

• There are people experiencing their first Christmas with a new child, so it’s filled with hope, delight, and some sleepless nights. 

• There are people whose relationships and families are significantly compromised by infidelity; addictions, mental health issues; high conflict; emotional unavailability; estrangement; job loss, and/or financial problems. They will go through the motions of Christmas, trying to act like everything is okay when another part of them knows it isn’t. They will be trying to experience the connection, joy, and meaning in Christmas, but it will be short lived or eclipsed altogether, by personal and interpersonal issues and dysfunctions.

• There are people struggling financially who will not be able to buy presents or put food on the table without visiting a foodbank. The Hunger Count in Canada shows that foodbank visits are up to over 2 million nationally every month. Other people are homeless and don’t even have a table to put food on. The Everyone Counts’ enumeration of those who are homeless shows that around 60,000 Canadians are homeless on any given night, and that the numbers have increased in the last number of years.

• There are people struggling themselves, or who have a close loved one who is dealing with terminal illness. They will spend their Christmas trying to squeeze in all the good they can, while also coming to terms with the anticipatory grief that reflects their new reality.

• There are people who will be going through this Christmas season without a significant loved one because they died expectedly or naturally through illness, or unexpectedly and unnaturally through such things as suicide, drunk driving, or murder, alone or at the hands of another. If it’s the first year, it will be particularly painful and difficult. If it’s been longer, there will still be lingering loss. December 6^th marks the Montreal Polytechnique massacre that occurred in 1989.

• There are many children who will be lavished to varying degrees with some love and some presents this Christmas. Unfortunately, other children will spend the season in trauma and survival. It will be no different than the rest of the year, because they are caught in circumstances such as domestic violence, child abuse, neglect, a parent who is struggling with addictions or other mental health disorders, extreme poverty, or sexual trafficking.  

No matter what Christmas means or what the experience typically looks and feels like for you, make room in your heart and your psyche for the diversity of others: for the meaning it has or does not have for them, and for the varied experience that may be occurring for the rest of humanity.

Do your best to stretch and hold some of it, a lot of it, or all of it. 

Pick the Real Present

Too often the spoken and unspoken expectations and messages dictate what’s most important about Christmas and the holiday season for us. We can bring more consciousness into Christmas and the holiday season by actively recognizing the expectations and messages we might be carrying. 

In my own life across the years, I would say some of the expectations and messages I have previously carried include:

• Saying “yes” and attending every function and extra. This can be a lot if you have a big family or kids that are involved in lots of things. Everyone, it seems, adds one or two Christmas extras. As one offs, they are manageable, but in combination they create a lot of extra: extra expectation; extra preparations, extra time commitments, and often extra costs. 

• Attending religious things to please others. (To be clear, I am not suggesting that I or others should not attend religious celebrations at Christmas, only that we should choose to do so because it resonates for us to do so).

• Running around trying to get the toy of the year so my kids wouldn’t miss out.

• Staying positive, celebratory, and lighthearted around others to reflect the “energy” of Christmas when my internal reality was sad, loss-filled, and heavy.

• Giving gifts that were beyond what I reasonably had to give, in either time, money, or both.

All these things, and many other things reflect what it can look like to be a little twisted up in Christmas and perhaps within ourselves. It can become a whole lot easier when we pick the real present we are hoping to experience with Christmas and then reflect that in our choices.

For example, are we needing or wanting (for ourselves and any loved ones): security and simplicity, love and connection, beauty and joy, meditation and meaning, ritual and celebration, stillness and peace, purpose and presence, fun and festivities, shelter and sharing, and/or any combination thereof, or something else?

Coming to recognize what is most important to us allows us to make conscious choices (sometimes defiantly against familial, cultural, or societal norms and expectations).

For example, if we need or want ‘security and simplicity’ we might limit our outings, our gift giving, and our extras overall, and opt instead for choosing a select number of things that keep us and our families secure. Or, if we need or want ‘purpose and presence” we might select only the outings or events where we are most at home and can bring ourselves forth and give gifts that encourage purpose for others. So instead of running around for the latest hot gift, we provide our presence to others, and gifts that support whatever is unfolding for them.

If you could let all of the Holiday “noise” fall away, what is most important for you about Christmas? What do you want to experience?

Let your answer guide your thinking and your choices. And if you cannot engage others in creating the experience you want to have, focus on creating it for yourself in whatever way is possible.

Deliberately Celebrate an Aspect of Consciousness

Christmas is named for the birth of Christ. My understanding is that it was condensed from “Christ’s Mass” the annual religious celebration among Christians of the same. But in my view and those of many others, Jesus was but one of many spiritual masters (some others include Buddha, Dalai Lama, and Rumi) that embodied enlightened consciousness. Thus, Christmas is really about celebrating enlightened consciousness.

The best way we can celebrate that is to work on birthing it in ourselves. I don’t begin to claim that I am enlightened or can teach others to achieve it. I am on the long spiritual path like most others. But I do believe that most of us house enlightened consciousness deep within us at our core, buried under layers and layers and layers of survival, ego, and perhaps karma.

We can only be where we are and move forward from there.

For me, this holiday season, I am letting go of the patterns, pain, and losses involved with several relationships that have fallen away in recent years at different points in response to conscious shifts on my part. In all cases, both myself and my youngest who still lives with me were impacted to varying degrees, there were many open-hearted conversations, requests for change, and the people were given multiple chances and support to rise, and take responsibility, grow, and mature. The forms the relationships took were all different (a co-parent, a partner, a friend) but the problematic patterns and presence of betrayal were similar. In the aftermath, over more than a year, I worked on owning my parts, including rooting all the way back into childhood to heal subconscious things that were involved for me. And now, it’s time for forgiveness of myself and them, truly and deeply wishing them the best, and the full and final release so that I am not carrying anything forward as unfinished business.

And in its place, I am embracing love and connection in a deeper, fuller way with myself, with those in my inner circle, and energetically with everyone around me. And just in time for the Holidays!

Hopefully something in these ideas was appealing to you or inspired an even better idea to bring a little more consciousness to Christmas in yourself, in your life, or in your small corner of the world.

Happy Holidays.

 With Humility, Hope, and Heart,