The 5 “R”s of Restarting (part three)

Related Posts: growth and transformation including the 5 Rs of Restarting and Spring part one and part two.

Assuming we have clarity and have readied ourselves and our lives, the next step, we can take is “reaching” and being in the new. The wording of this implies that these steps are linear, when in fact they are iterative and multi-directional.

We reenvision, ready, and start reaching. Then we might realize there is more readying to do, so we go back and do some of that. Then we reach some more. As things unfold, we realize that our reenvisioning isn’t clear enough, targeted enough or inspiring enough, so we go back and tweak that. And then we reach some more. You get the picture.

Reaching (and Being in the New)

My approach to reaching and emerging the new in myself and my life has changed over the years.

I spent quite a number of years earlier in my career facilitating strategic planning processes, among other things, in large, complex, organizations and systems. Not surprisingly, during that same time frame, I approached change in myself and my own life in a similar manner. There was a vision that inspired and motivated me. There were clear goals, timelines, outcomes, and accountability. It was very organized and laid out. I achieved many things this way. 

And while this approach or something similar might be the best way for big complex organizations and systems because there are multiple purposes, so many players, and many moving parts, I have come to appreciate something far more simple for myself personally (and even at work sometimes).

I believe three things influenced the change in me over the years. I came to know myself better and developed confidence that I could create and achieve things without the rigidity of outlined plans. I developed a stronger intuitive and spiritual life where I learned to lean in and trust more in following the unfolding as I consistently showed up with clear intention. And while working in continuing care, one of the hardest hit places during the COVID 19 pandemic, I learned to let go of plans altogether. For about two years straight, things were moving so fast and changing so many times a day (at least in healthcare), there was no time for planning, and even if there had been, the plan would have needed to change in countless ways before the ink was dry. It was futile and a waste of precious time and resources that were needed elsewhere.

Using a More Formal Plan

If you are someone who likes a more formal plan, then I encourage you to create that for yourself.

You can do so pretty simply in a couple of steps. I find the best way is to use backward planning, which is just planning that starts with what we envision and works backward to outline how we will get ourselves there.

• Start by describe/outlining the Restart Result you want on the other side or your change and transformation.
  
  
• Then working backwards, describe/outline what newness in you needs to emerge or develop so that you are capable or creating the Restart Result that you want. The truth is that we often need to change something ourselves first. If we didn’t, we would usually already have the result we want. If we just try to create the result, we often aren’t able to, because we need to change first. That’s why I start here. It might be something you already sense is arising or that you know you need to develop to get yourself there. This could be anything from having more discipline, to learning more on a topic or topics, or letting go of something from the past. It might be one thing or it could be a few things.
  
  
• Working backwards even further, lay out the specific actions that you’re going to take to move yourself into the newness you need to become. This might be taking a course to learn what you need to learn, or talking to a friend that you know is good at the thing you are trying to develop in yourself, or writing an unsent letter to release you from the past.
  
  
• And finally working backwards the furthest, outline the actions you need to take to create the Restart Result you want . You can even add timelines if you like. These are the actions that link directly to the result. They are not about changing ourselves. They are about taking action to create what we want. So if we want a better relationship with our partner, then they are about taking one romantic gesture a day, deliberately sitting down to talk through a difficult thing, helping our spouse with something that is important to them, communicating our needs better and being more deliberate in asking them about their etc.
  

Then, work your plan in the coming weeks and months. However, I would encourage you to hold it a little loosely and be open to changing the plan with shifts in circumstance, new insights, etc.

Being in the “Restart” (the New)

For those of you who are okay or willing to try something less dictated to create the “newness” in yourself and the betterment you truly seek, all we need to focus on is being in the “restart”. 

Now, of course, this is an enormous oversimplification. It means without pre-dictating what it needs to look like, we are essentially engaging in a continual process of coming to embody the “new” within ourselves and move into the betterment we truly seek. It recognizes that we don’t actually and can’t possibly know everything that we will need to do at the onset.

So instead, we set ourselves up to succeed and lean in over and over again, week after week, month after month.


Here’s a list of some of the ways we can support ourselves “being in the restart”.

They don’t work in a linear way, the way a plan does.

We do not do A, then B, then C, then D all the way to the end. They work more like an intricate, interrelated, organic unfolding. We move back and forth between, A, B, C, D, E, F, and G in no particular order. It looks more like the way a steel ball might gently move through a pinball machine (if it were moving in slow motion); A, D, B, E, A, C, B, B, G, F, D, A, B, etc., in any given week or month.

1. Consistent Focus and Time. Reminding ourselves regularly to focus on being the new and spending some time creating the new within ourselves and our lives. We might sticky note reminders on the mirror or put notifications on our cell phones. Newness and change don’t happen without some investment of energy. Consistency and momentum are important. It’s better to spend 15 minutes a day, five days a week than only an hour every two weeks. Make use of whatever time you have. How will you consistently invest time in the newness you are developing in yourself?
   
   
2. Envisioning and Affirming. It’s spending time imagining and affirming the newness of being. To do this, we think about the new, immerse ourselves in the felt sense of the restart result we want, and use visual images or affirmations. How will you regularly create resonance in your brain, heart, and soul with the newness/betterment you are trying to develop in yourself and your life?
   
   
3. Certainty and Stillness. It is navigating the process by both taking actions when we are certain of our next step and being able to stand still in the uncertainty until certainty arises once again. It means listening for our own clarity, or the still, quiet, wise voice of intuition, and taking heed as it is nudging us along in our unfolding. Is it a time of certainty through my own knowing or clear guidance, or a time of stillness?
   
   
4. Taking Actions. It’s acting as if the restart we are developing in ourselves is already within us to the best of our imagination and ability. This means “doing” things that align with the new beingness and that reflect the betterment that we are truly seeking. It’s about moving out of our comfort zone, taking some risks, and stretching ourselves. We do some things, different things, a long string of things, one thing at a time, day after day, month after month that reflect the new and slowly bring the new about. What actions will you take to reflect the newness you are developing in yourself and/or the betterment that you truly seek? And what about now?
   
   
5. Practicing the Positive. It is focusing and leaning into the positive without bypassing or minimizing what’s genuinely difficult. We all know instinctively that coming from the positive through things, like with a growth mindset and gratitude, is more helpful to moving us forward. How can I ignite the positive in supporting my progress?
   
   
6. Engaging with Opportunities. It is grabbing hold of any opportunities that arise or even asking for an opportunity. It’s stepping in and trusting. Not everything will work. But that’s not the point. The point is to keep showing up and moving ourselves forward. What opportunity might be available or might I create? And where might I turn for support?
   
   
7. Noticing Progress. It is noticing little indicators of progress and using those to keep ourselves motivated, while also resisting the temptation to expect full results prematurely. We need to give ourselves time to change, grow, be, and become. A little bit of celebrating along the way is also helpful. What progress am I noticing toward the restart I want or the betterment I am truly seeking? 
   

We create the restart in ourselves and the betterment we truly seek by being in the new. This means engaging over and over and over again in these ways. After awhile, we start to experience not just doing the “new” but being the “new”, and then eventually having what comes from the “new” in terms of the restart or betterment we are seeking.

Resourcing for the New

Whatever “restart” we are moving toward, it’s important not to forget about resourcing ourselves. Resourcing is the 5^th R of spring. This R belongs in all of the seasons because we need to resource ourselves at all times of the year, and in all seasons of life.

We need to feed ourselves well, and engage in exercise, and enough of it. We need to live on the right amount and the right kinds of food that serve our bodies well. We need to remember to fuel ourselves with self-compassion, motivation, energy, discipline, creativity, and a little inner rebellion to move into the new. And we need to recharge ourselves and our efforts with inspiration, information, and resources and supports.

As the snow starts to melt, I invite you to lean into spring: both the weather and the process of restarting. As tempting as it is, don’t rush to plant your seeds until you’ve properly prepared yourself and the soil of your life.

How are you resourcing this spring?

How are you reaffirming yourself?

How are you recharging with inspiration?

How are you accessing supports to make things a little easier?

For me, my resourcing reflects that my restart focus is health. I am keeping myself regulated on the daily and maintaining my healthy eating for the most part. Given the skin cancer diagnosis, I’ve accepted a specialist doctor as part of the fold.

I’m moving into ensuring more consistent and regular exercise besides daily walking. I’m really appreciating the 7-10 minute HIIT workouts that are available on Youtube. SVELTE training is a new favorite if you want to check it out. (Recommendation provided freely without affiliation or commissions). I don’t always feel like it and definitely don’t always have the energy, given that the only time I have is later in the evening. But I keep in mind my youngest daughter’s advice that she applies to herself given that she is particularly prone to falling off her commitments if she doesn’t maintain consistent momentum (aren’t we all sometimes!). She reminds me that it is better on any given day, to do the bare minimum to support results rather than to skip or overdo it. It’s working so far.  

Best wishes with your re-envisioning, readying, and reaching. May the seeds of your restart be planted and begin to sprout.

In a few months, I’ll be picking up the seasons and the growth process with the 5 R’s of Recreating and Summer, which includes handling setbacks. In the meantime, stay tuned.

 With Humility, Hope, and Heart,